BishopI HOPE I CAN count on you

Bishop_I HOPE I CAN count on your help: Bishop, I do, of course, have more than hysteria, behind the email I sent yesterday. This will not be the first time then Bishop (currently Sxxxx Pxxx., I understand) Gxxxxx Hxxx will have seen this [(attachment – A (“scarlet letter”) A adds and sex_exclaimPOINT . . .)], if I recall correctly. I have been warning DAD of my intentions over the last couple of weeks. This, amongst other things, he calls threats, extortion, blackmail. I wrote him that I intended to impugn Sxxxx Pxxx. (then Bxxxxx) Gxxxxx Hxxx and (then Sxxxx Pxxx.) Rxxxxx Kxxxxxx, should I move forward. Past Sxxxx Pxxx. Kxxxxxx, and most especially his wife, Bxxxxxx, may need to access their journals from the early 90's. I reference a court case that involved Jxxx Gxxxxx'x family and a coach accused of sexual molestation of a number of young girls he "mentored" during (at least) the 1980's. I remain under siege as regards my own "survival" situation. D (DAD) will no doubt "blame" my going off of lithium a number of months ago, or my BiPolar illness (Manic Depressive Illness), diagnosed the early half of 1987, for his current stress, AND my grievous situation. I ask you to not make the same mistake. I do believe you might want to observe his lack of genuine empathy, or sympathy, or regard for: the straights I have found myself in a continual round of since taking my leave of a marriage which gave him the most esteemed position of fathering the two sons I bore him. I am pursuing my own "full circle moment". I take those words from Oprah Winfrey in hearkening back to being raped by several members of her own family when she was nine years old and her currently using her show and her influence and her money to bring to trial child molesters. She was enraged by the murder of three family members in Idaho just this past summer by a convicted sex offender. I blame my current situation on my (PAST) reticence to step to the fore regarding his (meaning DAD's) rapine and plundering within his own "under the Covenant" first family, and need I mention, said rapine and plundering. I have long acknowledged my own guilt and culpability regarding same. I ask you, would you be so kind as, to forward this email on to Gxxxxx Hxxx, Rxxxxx Kxxxxxx and Exxxx Mxxxxxx, as I have my time and hands full, at present, with needing to appear in Court at 9:00 A. M. I would value your response and providing me their email addresses, and any other for you that you might prefer I use for further communication. I thank you, Cxxxx. You and I and Cxxx knew one another, I believe, at the time I spent in April and May of 1987, in a locked psychiatric ward, in a Mxxx, Xx. hospital coming to grips with my MD (mental illness) diagnosis. That particular illness requires a trigger for its manifestation. I hope I can count on your help in bringing that "trigger" to resolution. Respectfully, and with due regard, KARDL

Just so my faithful readers

Just so my faithful readers know, I’m posting this on my private AND two public blogs, all pretty much at once, as I may not be able to communicate with most of you soon – for who knows how long a while . . .

Msss Mxxx,  Where the hell have you been?  My phone is not disconnected -- yet – 4XX-6X2-8XX8.  I've been up two hours aready and need to walk in (3.7 miles) and there I am taped and monitored, both, but, 1-888-9X7-XXXX X113 -- leave a msg as I am on the phone to keep from being fired just now, as well.  Looks like tom. I'd better stay home and tag everything, (you of all people know what a job that will be) so the Sheriff's locking me out and my stuff in for thirty days on Thursday will provide me storage until I can get my affairs more in order.  BTW I'm up to try to post more and if U haven't read both vitriolnhumorpublicenough and KALsaysByebyeLinBiP, YOU NEED TO BEFORE CALLING!  We haven't enough time in life to cover old ground and I'm way too impatient with my way shortened time to figure out what I'm doing to go over what you can read and print out.  I love you and am thrilled you finally woke up to smell the coffee and try to get in touch.  I have actually never felt better in my life -- scary, as I have a taped msg from mom to almost those same words before she got consigned to, and confined in, for good -- the nursing home my father died in.  Talk soon, I hope.  K  Oh, PS, and BTW, my internet, electricity, Queststar gas, car and renter's insurance, phone and water (thank you, again, my lovely and most grateful for my paying half your ENTIRE MORTGAGE, up until August 14, 2005, landlords), are all on last notice.  And, my ever faithful car, so good to me as to keep on plugging despite my mechanic (and others, even phone strangers) saying “how unusual” it is that a “90 Ford Taurus still has its original tranny, is coughing and hiccoughing like unto . . . last leg, cough, spit, hack, hack, so I walk in, every so now and again!  So much for my current company owner making a big teary deal about how she values and appreciated LOYALTY in her underlings the Friday following the Monday she told me I was way out of line and did, indeed, yes, put my job in jeopardy by bringing my personal problems in to work and going off on a new team leader I'd said  "no" to the week before (in no small part because I only remember her closing one of my deals out of a dozen or so I'd ever taken to her), and found myself HAVING to work under the next week despite my "no" and bringing my performance up.  It does seem to me, I indeed must have a thought disorder to think I AM being loyal when so clearly the "powers that be" think not!  Can you ever remember telling me how well I wrote and that I should write (in some way) for a living? Please tell me I'm not too "all over the map" now FOR YOU ALSO.  By that I'm saying even my siblings and children and mother find it much too difficult to wade through my hurried efforts to get my current life on some medium where all who profess any caring for me at all can go catch up.  There simply is not enough time in life to work AND get creative!!!!!  Again, love.  Again, thanks.  Again, hope to talk, or at least in some way be able to, commune soon.  K

the wrath of a woman

“the wrath of a woman scorned . . . .” You have been keeping up enough with the landlord saga to know I likely will be homeless for the second time in my life, as early as Thursday, have you not? The process server said they've really speeded up the process with this seven day notice, and IF THERE’S MONEY involved in the State of XXXX, [aside, here: land of Molly M’s, as is titled to this property on her own (or so it appears on the papers I was served) (‘n’ polygs, ‘n’ Prophets, et al.)] as there is, since rent is the only thing that really matters, don'tcha know, -- I WON’T WIN. There are, of course, other things I can do, but I won’t win THIS, which would be to be able to sleep under the same roof I do now, which would be the one I’ve only so far paid $46,000 (+), YES, (+) (again half the mortgage on the property) for the privilege of doing. Despite the Biblical scripture to not call thy brother Raca, which is to say FOOL, my brain screams out fool, fool, fool, every time I hear those treading above me, for haven’t they heard, --
“the wrath of a woman scorned . . . .”?

Just thot U might be interested

Just thot U might be interested to know . . . I just may be in LOVE! On my Vitriol site this AM, I noticed someone had posted a comment. 'Twas to reference a LITHUANIAN dating service. Not to worry, & B, please note I'm keeping this brief: the love interest, tho he be Iranian born, note the to die for understated good looks, has lived in West LA, USA, the last 15 years. He's only four years younger, and #@%*xxx#'s lighter, so I anticipate he will -- possibly -- respond to, at least, my interest in him. Ma, Gma, fren, and dau K

Speak of HONEST men

Janel, Monday, September 12, 2005, 3:44 AM Speaking of MEN being completely HONEST, has your attorney let you know he noticed me improperly the first time?

Sunday September 11_One Final Last Attempt

One Final, last LAST last Attempt, Sunday, September 11, 2005, Dear JXXXX, One major problem I can see with the Stonewall Silence Approach to Life Comin’ at Ya Fast, Jxxxx, is that some of us have much larger scale imaginations than others. I, for one, try to warn people that, I am very visual and before they describe something in too vivid detail, they deserve to know that. In the case between you and I, where you want to play ignorant to my side of our conflict and just keep your message to one simple “pay us the money”, I feel you deserve to know SILENCE makes me very edgy. I don’t know that you’ve EVER cared enough about me as a person to remember that that is exactly why the husband I had when I came to you landed out on his ear from “our” apartment May of 1999. Although I yet see him as the only peer (as opposed to offspring), “LOVE OF MY LIFE”, I contributed to him experiencing homelessness in his life. I did that because, although I had concluded that he very well may not love me, nor have any real desire to stay married to me, it was only after it dawned on me that he might not even like me; and he tipped his hand to conveying that with the merest nod in answer to my outright question about that, my IMAGINATION went absolutely screamin’ meamin’ bonkers! Now, it just may be, my knowing I contributed to his experiencing homelessness -- I am taking my own responsibility here, and desiring to alert you. Or, it may be that I so clearly remember being homeless myself ----- ALREADY; when I was in the age group you are in now, which to the best of my knowing is, between forty and fifty: Whichever the reason may be, this is the best I can think to do.
‘t ain’t necessarily true -- Back to Jxxxx final LAST attempt, Sunday, September 11, 2005, I am trying to be fair with you, Jxxxx, because I too am a woman. In the last thirteen years of my life I have experienced what it is like to have been raised with the notion that a “REAL MAN” WOULD (take care of me) PROVIDE for me, if I would just be a good wife: as in do the best I knew how to love him and bear his children, speak to him, confer with him, be subservient to him, try never to let him know I may know more than he might know – about anything – or relate better than he might relate – to anything, or anyone. Need I mention that all that was pretty much implied (speaking very minimally) over and over every time I went to church? ALL THAT, only to be caught completely off guard and surprised, -- completely out of my goony brain --
THAT ‘t ain’t necessarily true.

Dear READER, that would be assuming I have any readers, It may seem I have utterly abandoned you, or my mission here. Not so!!!!! Perhaps you are unaware (how could you be so unaware?) that my primary posting, for now, is to go public with -- Vitriol N Humor Public Enough? -- my landlord dispute? The next couple posts, or so, will appear on both blogs, simply because they have so much to do with both. Naturally, feel free to read them only on one. The other blog, BTW, is vitriolNhumor. I do appreciate all the support I am receiving, even if only the most fervent of your prayers, in my behalf. That would be in lieu of the money I presume, you would (otherwise) be most happy to forward. Sayonara, then. K

Having a hard time keeping up?

Having a hard time keeping up? Just keep in mind, YOU don't have to live with me. I do. There, feel BLESSED? You should. But if you don't see anyone but you, well, then, AREN'T YOU SPECIAL? A special group indeed: 2 bros., a mo., 4 frens, 2 biz partz, a (delinquent, as regards being behind the comment 8ball) offspring, -- WHAT? Feeling math challenged? Ever consider you might fit more than one category? Listen up! Have I not tried, in some cases, umpteen million times, to share this with you already? Read me, comment to me -- ON my blogs,ok!? Sheesh! And, JamMan! Help mo, will ya! She, at least, is interested -- genuinely. And, heads up, all a youse. You should (aw, come on, let me should on ya, a bit. You'll thank me later . . . .) know, in your heart of hearts, I'm puttin' a book together. Haven't I warned as much over the last four or five (or more) years? And, here's the heads up part, you're all gonna be in it! One way or another. I would LOVE your active participation. Hence, my cry -- hear my thunder, hear me beat my breast(s, hopefully, still plural) -- find yerself a pseudonym, preferably one by which I might clearly distinguish you from my other folks, be they acquaintances, associates, buds (buddies, are you still napping?), etc. OK! This be the "at least" hopefully final time for you to get there,: kalsaysbyebyelinbip and, newer, yet, tho, first post taken from my WORD archived journaling with still current references, vitriolnhumorpublicenough. Note, dear reader: sometimes the difficulty in reading me may not be my bipolarity, but rather, that it is not my intent you GET the references, unless it is YOU whom I reference. (You may not want to lightly dismiss that it may be you whom I reference.) Fare Thee well, til the next free momento. K